A Better Way to Learn and Grow For a long time, I lived by an unwritten rule – if you aren’t focused intensely, you aren’t really learning. Growing up, the message I heard was always to study harder. In college and later as an engineer, that turned into a lifestyle…

Recently, I’ve been reading about Wang Yangming, a Chinese philosopher whose idea of 知行合一 (zhī xíng hé yī), “the unity of knowing and doing,” has stayed with me. The more I think about it, the more I see how relevant it is to parenting and to coaching ourselves. As parents,…

I noticed something about myself over the years. I felt much more comfortable talking about my life when I had something good to share. Something I achieved at work, something my children accomplished, or simply something I felt proud of. But when things weren’t going well, I became hesitant. Sometimes…

We have so many ways to measure how well our children are doing. Grades, test scores, sports rankings, awards, and school admissions. These measurements are everywhere, and it’s easy to see why we pay attention to them. They give us something concrete to compare and celebrate. But I’ve been thinking…

I’ve been thinking about how easily comparison can enter parenting. I’ve learned to notice when it affects my emotions and remind myself to focus on what really matters. But another question came to me: Why is it still so hard to let go? I started noticing something in my everyday…

There are times when my children’s results are not as good as they were before – a grade, a performance, a ranking. I understand in my mind that growth is never a straight line. There will always be ups and downs. But understanding something and actually feeling okay about it…

Recently, I completed training to become a volunteer with the Safe & Sound Talkline, a peer support line for parents and caregivers in the Bay Area. I wanted to do this for a very personal reason. Raising children has brought me many wonderful moments, but also plenty of challenging ones.…

I used to have a fairly simple belief about consequences. If you make a mistake, break a rule, or don’t do what you are responsible for, there should be a consequence. That is how you learn. After all, isn’t that what happens in the real world? So when my children…