When I first started learning coaching skills, I didn’t expect them to change the way I deal with my own life so much.

Every time I learned or practiced a new skill, I felt like I had entered a new world. The same situations were still there. My kids could still frustrate me. Difficult conversations still happened. I still worried, got angry, or felt overwhelmed.

But each time, I began to notice something new.

Sometimes I realized what was really triggering my emotion. Sometimes I saw that what I was about to say wouldn’t actually help me get what I wanted. Sometimes a question helped me look at the same situation from a completely different perspective.

The challenging moments kept coming, so I kept practicing.

And gradually, something almost magical happened.

Now, when a strong emotion comes up, there are moments when I can actually catch myself before I react.

I can stop.

I can ask myself, What is happening to me right now? What do I really want? If I react this way, where will it take me?

Those questions give me a little room.

Room to calm down. Room to think a little deeper. Room to understand myself instead of simply following my emotion.

I still don’t catch myself every time. Sometimes I realize what happened only afterward. But even then, I can reflect on it and learn something for the next time.

That may be one of the most meaningful things coaching has given me.

The difficult moments haven’t gone away. But little by little, I’ve learned how to help myself through them.

And somewhere in that small space between feeling and reacting, I found room to grow.